Don't let the "gray goo" become you.
Let's face it, life is a confusing and frustrating place to live at times, if not most of the time!
Modern life is a chaotic assault of fast paced confusion, finding your own pace and clarity can be difficult.
One flaw we have as humans, is we tend to over complicate everything. We are not always adept and picking the most simple route and sticking to it. We like to create drama, we like to make things "exciting". The other problem is that once we are in this cycle of living keeping pace, complicating everything and running around, its really hard to stop and slow down. I know so many people that come into work on a Monday morning and only talk about everything they had to do on the weekend! How has it become that the only spare time we have off from work, we fill with more work?
Fair enough, I understand we all have priorities, but looking after yourself should be right at the top of that list. Else, if you're not on top of your game, then yet again, everything just becomes more complicated.
You need to take time, as often as possible, to seek clarity. Stepping back and evaluating situations, trying to see them from the outside perspective can have a massively positive effect. Often, the most simple solution to most problems is readily available, but due to our chaotic and rushed lives, we miss it. However, if we allowed ourselves that time to stop, take stock, evaluate and then act, we'd see it first time round.
When it comes to problem solving, whether it be at work, or in daily life, we have a tendency to try and think of every possible solution and the merits of each etc etc etc, over complicate again. Is it not easier to stop, take stock, find the first solution that you think will work, then go for that? If it doesn't work we repeat the process when we reach the next problem! But this over complicated "what about this, this, this or this?" approach usually tends to lead to yet more over complication and confusion.
At first it can be hard to train yourself to stop and seek some clarity, it can feel inefficient and useless, but in effect, taking time to free yourself and your mind from the "gray goo" of life can save time and your metal health!
Right, now hurry up, go relax!
Sunday, 8 June 2014
Friday, 6 June 2014
Naivety
Is your head in the "cloud"?
The whole world is now at your fingertips. Every single bit of recorded information, every person you've ever met, and even others that you haven't, are accessible through the internet.
Now that should open us up and expose us to more and more people and things. However the opposite seems to be true. Look to any place where there is a gathering of people and you'll see most people looking at some sort of screen. We lock ourselves away into our virtual world and communicate people more through social media, email and text than we do any other way.
Now don't get me wrong, I love technology! I'm a total, self-confessed geek. But these tools to help us really have taken over our lives. We spend so much of our time looking down at our screens and much less time looking up and around at the world and the people around us. We have become totally naive to what is going on immediately around us, because what is happening else where is just as accessible.
I find this more than anywhere at work. Technology has transformed sales. I can call a company and be told the boss is out, or in a meeting, only to have them instantly reply to an email or linkedin message. People I already have a relationship with would rather spend hours discussing things that we could resolve in a 5 minute phone call. Even when I see people face to face at networking, they ask me to send them and email, rather than ask me the questions they have there and then. I find that crazy.
The real, tangible interpersonal relationships that we forge in life are so much more valid and valuable to our lives. We need people, real people to live. We need to spend actual physical time with people to learn and develop from them and with them. We need to lift our heads up, open our very square eyes and stop being so naive to the real world around us.
Creativity
What will you make of today?
Most of the time when we talk about creativity, we think about artists, photographers, writers, crafters etc.
But there are no limits to how we can be creative. We need not have a talent or skill, nor does what we create have to be tangible, or even visible and often the invisible things we create are far more valuable than a perfect painting, or a beautiful hand crafted vase.
We can create amazing things with nothing but ourselves. We can create memories by taking the time to share things with people, travel to new places and try new things. We can create an atmosphere by being positive, making positive changes and sharing positivity.
By keeping an open mind and a positive attitude, the opportunity to create a little bit of magic comes around a lot more often. If we are open to new ideas and new experiences, the memories and good feeling that can be created will last a lifetime and add value to each and every day.
We can also create relationships, friendships and connections with other people, and the single easiest way to do this is to take the time to get to know them, to listen and to care. We're very quick when we meet people to tell them about ourselves and what we do, who we are. But by simply taking that little bit of time to listen to them and care about what you are hearing, the relationship forged will be stronger. I use this at work a lot. When prospecting a new client, before I even tell them about me and the company, I ask about them and theirs, and I genuinely care about what they are telling me. If I've taken an interest in them, they are much more likely to take an interest in me and what I am trying to achieve.
Our lives are the sum total of the things that we create, so the more time and energy we dedicate to creating good, positive and happy things, the better our lives will be. You can create drama, or you can create laughter, which do you enjoy more?
Create Karma.
Most of the time when we talk about creativity, we think about artists, photographers, writers, crafters etc.
But there are no limits to how we can be creative. We need not have a talent or skill, nor does what we create have to be tangible, or even visible and often the invisible things we create are far more valuable than a perfect painting, or a beautiful hand crafted vase.
We can create amazing things with nothing but ourselves. We can create memories by taking the time to share things with people, travel to new places and try new things. We can create an atmosphere by being positive, making positive changes and sharing positivity.
By keeping an open mind and a positive attitude, the opportunity to create a little bit of magic comes around a lot more often. If we are open to new ideas and new experiences, the memories and good feeling that can be created will last a lifetime and add value to each and every day.
We can also create relationships, friendships and connections with other people, and the single easiest way to do this is to take the time to get to know them, to listen and to care. We're very quick when we meet people to tell them about ourselves and what we do, who we are. But by simply taking that little bit of time to listen to them and care about what you are hearing, the relationship forged will be stronger. I use this at work a lot. When prospecting a new client, before I even tell them about me and the company, I ask about them and theirs, and I genuinely care about what they are telling me. If I've taken an interest in them, they are much more likely to take an interest in me and what I am trying to achieve.
Our lives are the sum total of the things that we create, so the more time and energy we dedicate to creating good, positive and happy things, the better our lives will be. You can create drama, or you can create laughter, which do you enjoy more?
Create Karma.
Tuesday, 3 June 2014
Integrity
Stay true to you. Surround yourself with good.
Have you ever spent the day with yourself?
How was the company?
The only person you can guarantee you'll have to spend the rest of your living days with is yourself, so it's a pretty good idea to like you. You simply cannot expect anyone to like you, help you or pay you any respect if you cannot do the same for yourself!
I'm not saying love yourself, be arrogant and believe you're the best person in the world, above all others, but you have to be able to stand up in front yourself and be happy with what you see. We all have flaws and weaknesses, but the key to being happy with yourself is knowing what these are and knowing that your are in the process of addressing those that can be addressed. It's so important to have self-respect, to believe in your own moral code and be able to positively reflect on your actions.
Once you have established yourself and what is important to you, the next step is to stick to it. As humans we are pack animals, and we are always desperate to conform, an while it is important to be social and respected, its useless if this comes to the detriment of yourself. There are times in life when people ask things of us that we are not happy with and at these times its vital that you're able to say no and move on positively. Can you change the request so you are happy with it? Can the same be achieved without straying from your moral code? Where does the difference in our ethics lie?
If you find you're having to ask those questions more often than not, the question you must first ask yourself is "Are these people really right for me?" If you're having to constantly adapt yourself to make people happy, are these the kind of people that you need to be around? What are they bringing to you? Do they add to your life, or simply take away from it?
Quality people, people that are a match for you, should give and take in equal measures. They should respect you for your integrity if you don't flex your morals and standards and should enrich the time you spend with them, not simply use you a source of energy for them to drain or do the things they won't because you have a looser moral code.
If you like something, why would you let someone change it? So make sure you like yourself, you stay true to that and you only take positive, progressive elements from people, not the negative, degrading ones.
Integrity is the maintenance of your ethics, morals and standards, regardless of external influence.
Have you ever spent the day with yourself?
How was the company?
The only person you can guarantee you'll have to spend the rest of your living days with is yourself, so it's a pretty good idea to like you. You simply cannot expect anyone to like you, help you or pay you any respect if you cannot do the same for yourself!
I'm not saying love yourself, be arrogant and believe you're the best person in the world, above all others, but you have to be able to stand up in front yourself and be happy with what you see. We all have flaws and weaknesses, but the key to being happy with yourself is knowing what these are and knowing that your are in the process of addressing those that can be addressed. It's so important to have self-respect, to believe in your own moral code and be able to positively reflect on your actions.
Once you have established yourself and what is important to you, the next step is to stick to it. As humans we are pack animals, and we are always desperate to conform, an while it is important to be social and respected, its useless if this comes to the detriment of yourself. There are times in life when people ask things of us that we are not happy with and at these times its vital that you're able to say no and move on positively. Can you change the request so you are happy with it? Can the same be achieved without straying from your moral code? Where does the difference in our ethics lie?
If you find you're having to ask those questions more often than not, the question you must first ask yourself is "Are these people really right for me?" If you're having to constantly adapt yourself to make people happy, are these the kind of people that you need to be around? What are they bringing to you? Do they add to your life, or simply take away from it?
Quality people, people that are a match for you, should give and take in equal measures. They should respect you for your integrity if you don't flex your morals and standards and should enrich the time you spend with them, not simply use you a source of energy for them to drain or do the things they won't because you have a looser moral code.
If you like something, why would you let someone change it? So make sure you like yourself, you stay true to that and you only take positive, progressive elements from people, not the negative, degrading ones.
Integrity is the maintenance of your ethics, morals and standards, regardless of external influence.
Longevity
It's all well and good to work hard at being at better you, but it's near enough pointless to be great for a matter of hours, days, weeks or months, you need to be the best you forever.
One of the biggest things I learnt about myself when learning to overcome my problems was what I can and can't do. I learned how to look after myself, alone, without the need to rely on others. This has transpired into me forming habits that have lasted, and seen me through to today.
Firstly, I learned what external influences are bad for me. For example, alcohol and me do not mix. This was a hard pill to swallow at the age of 21, when all I and everyone around me wanted to do was drink. Drinking single handedly lead to all of the worst moments I can recall. Waking up in hospital in paper clothes, with all my possessions, missing, broken or stained in vomit/alcohol, offending and alienating multiple close friends, failed relationships and ultimately appearing in court! All of that came about because of alcohol.
I was never by any means your typical alcoholic, but I was very much an addict, in that I never knew when to stop. A quiet pint in my language was actually making it home that night. I had no shut off, no "enough's enough". It came to a point when I realised that telling myself I'd be better wasn't going to work and I simply had to cut that influence out of my life.
During the time after stopping drinking, I started to track my moods and begin to identify what exactly influenced them, or what patterns there was. After a good while it became apparent that my mood changed with the seasons, a condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD to give it it's ironic acronym. I could see from my recordings that around autumn when the nights drew in, my mood when downhill and I became slower and less able to be on top form, and conversely, the summer months lead to more manic and spontaneous behaviour. Every job I have ever left began in the summer and ended in the winter.
To combat this, I invested in a daylight lamp and ensured that I spent as much time as possible outside soaking up sunshine.
Sleep was also a major contributor to my well being. I used to often say "Sleep when you're dead, now is for living" and I often lived of 2-4 hours sleep a night. I'd combat the fatigue this caused with caffeine and other stimulants which just lead to a constant sleep deprived, over stimulated cycle that got me nowhere fast! After changing things and trying to ensure I get a good 6-8 hours sleep, I am much more able to hit the ground running each morning. I also got given a life changing gift this Xmas, a sunlight alarm clock. This little beauty slowly sets over half an hour as you fall asleep, then rises again slowly in the half hour previous to when you have to be up. I always now wake up naturally and without a harsh alarm tone shocking me to sleep. Amazing bit of kit.
In summary, and to generalise on the things I've found work, the most important thing you can do is listen to your body. If its tired, sleep. If you're hungover, stop drinking. If you're restless, do something productive.
Cut out the things you identify are causing you to fall and falter and form lifelong habits, not short term fixes, Don't let anything limit you, or change who you are, after all the goal is to be the best possible you, forever.
One of the biggest things I learnt about myself when learning to overcome my problems was what I can and can't do. I learned how to look after myself, alone, without the need to rely on others. This has transpired into me forming habits that have lasted, and seen me through to today.
Firstly, I learned what external influences are bad for me. For example, alcohol and me do not mix. This was a hard pill to swallow at the age of 21, when all I and everyone around me wanted to do was drink. Drinking single handedly lead to all of the worst moments I can recall. Waking up in hospital in paper clothes, with all my possessions, missing, broken or stained in vomit/alcohol, offending and alienating multiple close friends, failed relationships and ultimately appearing in court! All of that came about because of alcohol.
I was never by any means your typical alcoholic, but I was very much an addict, in that I never knew when to stop. A quiet pint in my language was actually making it home that night. I had no shut off, no "enough's enough". It came to a point when I realised that telling myself I'd be better wasn't going to work and I simply had to cut that influence out of my life.
During the time after stopping drinking, I started to track my moods and begin to identify what exactly influenced them, or what patterns there was. After a good while it became apparent that my mood changed with the seasons, a condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD to give it it's ironic acronym. I could see from my recordings that around autumn when the nights drew in, my mood when downhill and I became slower and less able to be on top form, and conversely, the summer months lead to more manic and spontaneous behaviour. Every job I have ever left began in the summer and ended in the winter.
To combat this, I invested in a daylight lamp and ensured that I spent as much time as possible outside soaking up sunshine.
Sleep was also a major contributor to my well being. I used to often say "Sleep when you're dead, now is for living" and I often lived of 2-4 hours sleep a night. I'd combat the fatigue this caused with caffeine and other stimulants which just lead to a constant sleep deprived, over stimulated cycle that got me nowhere fast! After changing things and trying to ensure I get a good 6-8 hours sleep, I am much more able to hit the ground running each morning. I also got given a life changing gift this Xmas, a sunlight alarm clock. This little beauty slowly sets over half an hour as you fall asleep, then rises again slowly in the half hour previous to when you have to be up. I always now wake up naturally and without a harsh alarm tone shocking me to sleep. Amazing bit of kit.
In summary, and to generalise on the things I've found work, the most important thing you can do is listen to your body. If its tired, sleep. If you're hungover, stop drinking. If you're restless, do something productive.
Cut out the things you identify are causing you to fall and falter and form lifelong habits, not short term fixes, Don't let anything limit you, or change who you are, after all the goal is to be the best possible you, forever.
Positivity
Positivity
We all need to rant. It's in our nature to share what is on our minds and share the burden of life. However there is a line that we need to be aware of.
When does our sharing become moaning and when does our negativity begin to become part of the burden of somebody else's life?
We all know that person that is constantly moaning. Life is always worse for them. Do you generally enjoy that persons company? No, of course you don't. So don't be that person!
Whist its really important to not hold all these things in, its equally important to share in positive manner. Tell people about what went wrong, but also tell them what you did to solve it!
Make more of a fuss about the good things that happened today!
Be the kind of person that people want to be around. I know I'm biased, but the most positive person I know is my fiancée. She has a natural ability to make people feel better, she doesn't spend time talking about her negatives, but asks people about their positives. She's a joy to be around for this reason.
If you spend your time talking negatively, you begin thinking negatively and then feeling negatively and that is detrimental to not only you, but to everyone around you.
Its natural to feel down, frustrated and annoyed, but try to think before you rant and question yourself "How can I say this in a more positive way?" " How can I change how I think about this situation?"
The more you're able to change your words, the more you'll change your thinking and before long, the positivity becomes a natural part of you mindset.
Sunday, 1 June 2014
Curiosity
What do you collect?
I collect questions.
The beauty of questions is that they can always remain, and can have millions of potential answers. Some answers for, some don't, but that's why its better to collect questions, because while answers are only good when they fit, questions are always important.
These days we have all of the information available to mankind at our finger tips. The answer to a question can be found by a simple Google search, a flick through the relevant Wikipedia page.
But if we resign ourselves to not to ask questions because it's so easy to find the answer then we still don't really hold the answers.
It's vital to remain curious to move forward in life. Why is he doing so well, how can I do that too? That question has millions of potential answers, but the mere pursuit of any one of the answers leads to you improving your situation.
Is there a better way to do this? By constantly asking a question like this, we can only improve the way we do things.
When you ask questions, you learn more, see more, meet more people, visit more places.
Don't rush to the answer, enjoy the question.
Stay curious.
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